General Election Now – Long Read

I would like a General Election now please. I’m absolutely fed up with the rancid shite that is swilling down the toilet that is our current political system. We need to finally flush it all out and get some new thingys that go in your toilet to make it fresh again. Here’s a little list of what’s happened in the last couple of weeks to get your gnashers into.

There was a budget… and no one cared. There was no bounce in the polls for the current government. All the measures they set out were trashed. They offered a tax cut for working people which is great, but the general consensus is that if there was any spare money, we’d like it spent on services because they’re all breaking. It used to be that if anything from the budget was leaked before the event, then the Chancellor would be sacked. Our current Chancellor, Jeremy Cunt, sorry Hunt, actually let’s go back to Cunt, trailed all of his ideas and that meant the budget was a damp squib because nothing came as a surprise.

The Conservatives lost an MP. Unfortunately we know exactly where he went. 32p (adjusted for inflation) Lee Anderson said something horrifically Islamophobic. He refused to apologise. Sunak took the whip away from him and he was left bereft without a party and still unwilling to apologise. He ended up being unveiled as the Reform UK Party Limited’s new shiny MP. Just a point to note, Reform are not a political party, they’re a Limited company. I wonder why? His unveiling was a disaster. He first hid behind a big Union Jack, journalists laughed at him and he said hello to his Mum during the press conference. That was actually quite sweet, but possibly a little unprofessional for that type of event. Also just to note that 32p Lee Anderson called Richard Tice, the leader of Reform UK Party Limited, a pound shop Nigel Farage a few weeks ago. Now they’re best buds. Well done to you all.

Michelle Donelan *shakes head.* She is the government’s Secretary of State for Science, Innovation and Technology which means she gets a seat at the big cabinet table. As she became an MP in 2015 this is a meteoric rise. Thumbs up. Michelle also posted a letter on social media claiming some academics had ‘extremist views’. The taxpayer had to foot the £15,000 bill for legal fees and compensation to make this little snafu go away. Anyone else think this is a resigning matter? Anyone else think she should be footing the bill herself? There was no real reason to post this letter other than to carry on with pathetic culture wars. If she had genuine concerns, she’s connected well enough to voice those concerns with the appropriate authorities to investigate without making a pig’s ear of the performance.

The continuing rats fleeing a sinking ship goes on into another week. There are now sixty one current conservative MPs standing down at the next election. There’s a rumour that these announcements are being dribbled out so as not to look like a flood and frighten the seahorses. Expect more as the ship sinks into the horizon. O and polling for the conservatives is now lower than when Liz ‘The Lettuce’ Truss was Prime Minister. And it came to light that she spent £15,000 on catering for twelve people on a flight to Australia when she was Foreign Secretary. How? How did she spend that much money and how did she become Foreign Secretary? How is she still an MP?

And the disgusting little cherry on top. The conservative party’s biggest donor to the tune of £10,000,000 in the last two years is alleged to have made racist and misogynistic comments about MP, Diane Abbott. He said that Diane Abbott ‘makes you want to hate all black women’ and that ‘she should be shot.’ Sunak eventually came out and said these comments were racist, but that the donor had apologised and we should all move on. Really? He didn’t apologise for being racist or misogynistic, but only for being rude. And Sunak won’t give back the money because £10,000,000 is a lot of campaign lucre. The fucking state of them.

So here’s Mary Earps to express how I feel about our current government and what they can do.

In conclusion I do want to encourage everyone to register to vote. You can do that here:

And please remember that you need ID to go and vote now. Please click here to see the rules and if you don’t have existing ID you can apply to get voting ID: