I’ve been a bit lax on the old blog recently and I don’t like that, because surely I have enough time to write five hundred words every week. I’ve had lots to do at work and when I get home, I’m mentally tired and stressed. And this is not always conducive to writing a blog. Which has meant that I just haven’t had the mental capacity to think on a post, formulate a plan and attack the portal to write the damn thing. It happens. But I suppose I set myself a goal to write a post every week and I’m failing in that and it annoys me and it is quite an easily achievable goal.
I find I have the same issue with exercise. I’ve spoken to my therapist about the mental and physical block I have with exercise. Some of it is a ghost of the pain I was in when I was at the gym a lot, rehabbing both of my knees after their separate operations. I pushed myself hard and it caused me a lot of pain and I have the ghastly memories of that which kinda hinders me from signing on at a new gym. Also because of my knees, I should be lighter than I am. I know that the less weight I carry, the easier it is on my knees which need a little tender lovin’ every now and then and so I should exercise more to help them out. But I don’t.
I know how good for me regular exercise will be. How much it will help as I fast approach my fortieth birthday. That’s right kids, I’m forty soon. And I know how good it is for me to whittle away at the blog and get my thoughts out, but I’m struggling even with that. I want to form habits. Exercising for a couple of months and then it dropping off will not help me. I formed the blog habit and I’m worried I’m losing it, so you might find some of my posts over the next few months are a little shit or out there, but I feel like I need to keep writing and so I will.
And I feel like I should start the habit of exercising so I think I fucking well will as well. I get a bit fed up with myself sometimes. Mainly because I always feel like I can be doing more. And I when I get fed up with myself, I forget the confidence I have and the drive. I think it’s just a case of remembering who I am and what I can do and just fucking doing it.
So word up, hang loose and avoid the drizzle.
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