Busker Flow

Music plays a big part in my life. I’ve written before about how a song can affect me in multiple different ways. I’ve got shuffle on a playlist and a song can come on that will calm me, lift me, enrage me, make me weep. I do find it fascinating that music can immediately change my mood. I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation which I’m not clever enough to understand. And music is constantly on in the background. Whether it’s in the car or my office, or having a shower at home. Singing in the shower is fun. No one to tell me how shit I am.

I use Spotify. Other music streaming apps are available. I noticed at the end of last year they created some playlists of artists I don’t normally listen to, based on the artists I mostly do listen to. I needed a ‘chill’ playlist and it created one based on my preferences. I listened to it and it was pretty fucking good, so with a bit of tweaking I saved it, listen to it on and off whenever I feel like I need that sort of sound.

I enjoy the occasional hip hop or rap track. I think some of songs within those genres are good. The beat, the bass, the clever lyricism. It takes all sorts and my ‘chill’ playlist has some hip hop in it, with a chilled beat and flow which fit around the mainly ‘bloke with acoustic guitar’ tracks. And so Kofi Stone’s Busker Flow was introduced to me. I immediately bobbed my head to the underlying beat and let myself get carried on the natural flow that he raps with, mixing up his lyrical speed to keep it interesting.

Let the games begin
A million ways to win
I’m sick of the waiting
Sick of the pain
I live with this weight within
That weighs me down
But nevertheless I find a way to win

Busker flow – kofi stone

It wasn’t until I was enjoying the track for like the sixth time that I realised that the opening lines were felicitous to my current emotional state. I quote them above and armed with the knowledge of Dad’s death last year, I realised they are quite apposite. I am sick of the pain and the waiting for it to dull and the weight is something I carry with me constantly. Everything is different now and yet everything is still the same. The world hasn’t changed, but I have permanently. And this new state is one I need to adapt to.

It amuses me then that this song is a great explainer of how I feel now and at the same time makes me feel that despite these negative feelings, there is positivity underlying and running through it. The constant bass hit, the quick fire lyrics push me on. Because I’ve got to get a shuffle on and I know there will be a point that carrying this ever present weight will be light work.

But nevertheless I find a way to win.