Politicians Are Not Celebrities

When Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson made his debut on Have I Got News For You, he was found to be a bumbling amusing journalist that most of us probably never thought would one day become Prime Minister. O how silly we were. This tousle-haired walking sack of custard (I’ve nicked that from someone who is more erudite than myself) had grand plans though, much to the nation’s dismay. Essentially he’s a journalist (there’s nothing wrong with being a journalist) who used deceit to scrabble up the ladder and because he made a spectacle of himself, he became watchable and interesting and therefore he became a bit of a celebrity. And he bargained that celebrity status into political power.

Johnson is really the first politician I’ve noticed that was a celebrity first. When I was younger, politicians were serious people talking about serious subjects and just a little bit nerdy and boring. But some of these self serving douche canoes realised that with celebrity status comes more votes. And with more votes, comes more power. I’m genuinely not interested in going down the pub with an affable politician. They spend way too much time in the bars in Westminster as it is. But the type of people who crave celebrity and the spotlight should not be politicians. In my opinion, they should be in the background ensuring that the country works as it should and we’re all looked after. Not constantly wanting to be on the news or on tv to boost their own image.

There is currently one serving Conservative MP who was in the jungle, one serving Conservative MP who was diving on Splash and one serving Independent MP (they were a Conservative but had the whip removed for appearing on reality TV) who was in the jungle as well. All three of these wank spangles went on reality TV when they were supposed to be serving their constituencies. And I honestly don’t understand how jumping into some water or eating the body parts of Australian fauna will help you with your duties as an MP. The only thing it does is boost your own ego and make you look a bit of a fool. But some of these politicians are so utterly devoid of self awareness that they believe they have to be making the headlines to make a difference.

When Joe Biden became President of the U.S.A. I breathed a small sigh of relief. For many reasons really, but one of the biggest ones was that I was just fucking exhausted of hearing about the orange blob and what stupid shit he had done or said that day. At least with Biden I can rely on him to get on with some serious business and get off our TV screens for a bit. It was the same when Johnson/Truss were replaced by Sunak. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand his politics, but Sunak does seem to be a grown up person who’s not all out for self promotion. I think he’s out for himself in other ways, but there does seem to be a politician in there somewhere.

And so we inevitably get onto Sir Keir Starmer. My great hope that politicians might soon just be politicians. He’s grey, a bit dull, voice isn’t that great to listen to, but he’s serious. And after all the shenanigans that have gone on in politics, I long for someone serious, someone who will get on with the job of governing.