Thick as Mince – Long Read

Going straight in this week. We have a government that is as thick as mince. Now this is (bar something amazing happening) the last time I will discuss the Rwanda policy or bill that is doomed to fail put forward by our current government. The reason why I won’t discuss it will be evidenced later on in the piece, but for now and for one last time, here goes.

Last week, Jacob Rees-Mogg, who has previously held ministerial positions such as Secretary of State, Minister of State and Leader of the House of Commons and who is now a back bencher was shown to be hypocritical by the journalist Victoria Derbyshire in an interview on the BBC. He had previously tweeted (fuck Elon Musk) that the Rwanda bill would not work unless it was amended to remove loopholes. When the bill was finally put to vote without amendments… The Mewling Pencil (I can’t claim ownership of this name) voted for it anyway, even though he had previously stated it would not work. And this guy was an actual Secretary of State! And he thinks we won’t realise. Thick as mince.

Last week, Lee Anderson resigned as Deputy Chairman of the Conservative Party because he said he could not vote for the Rwanda bill without amendments toughening it up. If you are Deputy Chair of any party it is convention that you do not vote against the government you represent and if you want to ‘rebel’ you resign your position, but you remain an MP. This is the lovely chap who believes you can cook a meal for 30p a day, hence is nickname 30p Lee. Now 30p made a big deal of his resignation, writing a letter to the Prime Minister and advertising it far and wide. When it came to the vote, he was just about to vote against the bill, then some big boys giggled and pointed at him and our hero Lee ran away. He ended up abstaining. To be a politician you have to have thick skin. This snowflake couldn’t go through with his convictions because of some laughing. And he thinks we won’t realise. Thick as mince.

Last week, Thérèse Coffey stood up in the debate on the bill and said something really stupid. At one point, under Liz ‘Look at my Lettuce’ Truss, Thérèse Coffey was Deputy Prime Minister. If something terrible had happened to the lettuce, like it going mouldy, this walking bath tub would have been Prime Minister. She has been Secretary of State for multiple departments, Minister of State for multiple departments and Assistant Government Whip. She has a vast array of ministerial experience. When the Rwanda bill was being debated, the aforementioned bath tub stood up and had the temerity to object to the language used by Yvette Cooper, the shadow Home Secretary. Coffey complained that Cooper was being rude by not calling the Rwandan government by the correct name. Cooper had referred to the ‘Kigali government’, Kigali being the capital city of Rwanda. Now it’s true, we don’t call the British government, the ‘London government’ but it’s also well established that when we reference Brussels or Stormont in political circles, everyone knows what governments those terms refer to. This was a bad case of pathetic point scoring. And she thinks we won’t realise. Thick as mince.

Now during the debate, where a discussion is held about the pros and cons of the bill, the MPs understand how much the legislation will cost. Jess Phillips, a Labour MP stood up and was rightly apoplectic. She explained there is a fund of money for children who are victims of rape. In 2022, this fund was £4.5 million which amounts to £42 per child. That’s over 100,000 victims. Now the Rwanda bill will cost £169,000 per refugee sent to Rwanda. This simple comparison makes me feel like the Rwanda bill is grossly disproportionate. I’ll leave it up to you to decide for yourself what you would like your taxes to be spent on. And I won’t discuss the policy any more because of this. Our government is wasting time, energy, air time and money on this doomed, shit policy, when there are real problems that need looking at and funding. I’m ashamed that my government is acting in this way.

PS – Last week, Rishi ‘Ban the Meat Tax’ Sunak, our haunted Prime Minister, made a speech the morning after the Rwanda bill was passed on how the House of Lords should now get on with ensuring the bill is swiftly passed and not amended by them. He also slipped in a dig about them being appointed not elected at the same time. 1. Sunak was appointed to Prime Minister, not elected. 2. The whole point of the Lords is to amend bills if required by experts in their fields. 3. If you tell someone not to do something, whilst coming across as an arrogant prick, getting in sly digs about their legitimacy whilst your own is in question, what do you think those Lords are going to do? And he thinks we won’t realise. Thick as mince.