Do you have a flag? No? Well they’re all the rage at the minute, you should get one. Whenever someone mentions flags, I always think of the stand up Eddie Izzard did years ago. Watch it, it’s hilarious. Right so, Nike have produced their new England football kit, with full knowledge and sign off by the Football Association. It has St George’s cross, England’s flag, on the collar but they’ve changed a couple of the colours of the cross and left out the white background. The absolute bastards. Rishi Sunak and Sir Keir Starmer have both come out against this horrific slur on our national heritage.
Or not. I mean really? This is what we’re exercised about right now? Penny Mordaunt, a conservative MP, someone who desperately wants to be leader of the Tory party but only after the general election and once the Tories have been battered, holder of a sword at the King’s new hat day and she wore a fancy dress, sent out a tweet literally asking people to get in touch with her about this flag, letting her know how disgusted we all are. Ok Penny, let’s do that shall we? Now why are you asking us to get exercised about this? Why am I getting worked up by a flag? Could it be deflection from these current and more pressing issues:
- The postmasters scandal
- Child poverty increasing
- The breakdown of public services including the NHS
- Multiple conflicts / wars around the world
- Soaring homelessness
- The climate
- Immigration backlog
- Our bumbling economy
The above list is not exhaustive. I’m sure you could think of something I’ve missed out.
And I understand that the outrage is about our national identity and who we are etc etc. But fuck me, I know who I am, I don’t need some cotton on a collar of a football shirt to tell me. So if you’re outraged by this, here’s a flag for you.
And it would probably help if the Tories stopped bastardising the British flag so much. Whoops.
So fuck off with your flag shagging and concentrate on something more important. Have a happy chocolate eating weekend.
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