For those not in the know, I hate reality TV. Like with a white hot passion. However when I first started stepping out with the Lovely Girlfriend she made me watch Love Island. Ok, she didn’t ‘make’ me but she wanted to watch it and in the interests of ‘getting along’ I would put up with it. Until I got sucked in. And I really got sucked in, because now we watch the Australian and American versions and for the last few weeks, the UK version is the only thing we’ve watched. And I will now even watch other reality dating shows which are in the same vain! Anyhoo, back to Love Island. When I first started watching, I was staring at the TV screen, counting down the minutes until the abundant mundanity was over. But over the course of a few episodes I began to actually care that Boy A was binning off Girl A for Girl B and doing it behind her back in a villa in Spain, whilst getting a mega tan and looking sexy. And then I found myself speaking to the Lovely Girlfriend about it of my own free will and wondering on how the showdown between Boy A and Girl A would go etc…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still of the view that these shows are contrived and stupid. I mean it has become blatantly obvious that most people go on these shows to further their Instagram/modelling/TV careers and they are ‘thirsty’ as the Lovely Girlfriend would say. Two of the contestants on the most recent series of Love Island have had their social media managed by a company whilst they were away, which unfortunately makes me believe that maybe they are not on the show for love, but for the opportunities their new found notoriety would bring. And yeah, I’m still hopelessly naïve enough to believe that some of the contestants are ‘genuine.’
One of those contestants who I believe is genuine is Toby. Now this young man started off fast, coupling up with Kaz. And then moving on swiftly to Chloe before properly calling it off with Kaz for which he got an absolute coating. Then Abi came into the villa and he moved on to her, doing a slightly better job at winding down Chloe before moving on, but still not good enough. Then the villa was split and all the boys go to another villa to essentially be tempted by a new set of girls and vice versa… and our anti-hero Toby was tempted and brought Mary back to the main villa whilst Abi was stood there by herself. So up until this point Toby, who was a self styled ladies man and had previously shared he had never had a girlfriend, was a whirlwind bed hopper. Not the best look. Whilst he always apologised for poor behaviour to the aforementioned girls, he seemed to be slow in learning how to navigate these potentially hurtful situations. Watching his antics was exhausting.
Until he decided when he brought Mary back into the main villa, saw Chloe coupled up with a another lad called Dale who was really sweet, that actually Chloe was the one. This seemed to flick a switch in the young man and he properly let Mary and Abi down and became single without having another girl to move on to. This act of making himself vulnerable was actual growth. He finally understood that to have a meaningful relationship you have to put yourself out there and work hard and hope that the other person was willing and not have a back up, just in case. Chloe reciprocated and they coupled up. Throughout the ensuing days, Toby became a voice of reason, a helping hand and quite mature in the advice he was giving out. And he hasn’t looked at another girl since. What has also been interesting to me as well, is the reaction from the public at large. Toby was villain number one at one point and was disliked so much, even his sister dragged him on social media. But he managed to slowly turn people around so much, that Toby and Chloe were voted in second place in Monday’s final.
Now I must say that there is a therapist on hand to all contestants and it seems as though the lad went to see them, actually listened, listened to his housemates as well, identified behaviour which was poor and acted on being a better person and not hurting those around him. He also seemingly identified situations that were potentially harmful and stayed away from those as well. And look, I’m not naïve enough to believe that he might not regress once outside of the villa with all of the new opportunities which will open up for him, but it’s been enlightening to see this lad go from complete douchebag to decent human being in a matter of weeks with the help of some professional help and some frank words from his female villa mates. It’s quite often noted that boys mature slower than girls, but this lad has shown that in the right environment you can mature in a matter of weeks and become a fully fledged adult. Do the work, get the results.
I personally feel going to see a therapist is a big step and it’s not a step I’ve personally taken, however if you ever feel in need, please click on the link below as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy is potentially a good place to start. Bon chance!