What Do We Do?

As wars ravish not too distant lands, as the stock markets crash and burn on computers around the world, I worry that I don’t care enough. I’ve been here before. I remember advice from my Mum (hi Mum!) about essentially only worrying about the stuff you can actually do anything about. What can I do about the stock market? What can I do about war? Not a lot really. I can post on social media, which I don’t do a lot. I can refuse to buy certain goods or frequent certain places. That’ll be a massive dent. Do I cower? Do I cry? I think I’ll just look out my window at the sun shining instead.

I’m not a huge fan of the sun. It’s hot and I’m a sweaty boy prone to overheating. However find me some shade and possibly a nice pool to jump into every now and then and I’m golden. Preferably with a bar that can serve me icey cold drinks and some fries. O and an ice cream. I’ll need a good book to read as well. I don’t want much. Over the years I’ve recognised the effect the sun has on the mood of everyone. When it’s cold and dark, naturally we get colder and darker. And when spring does its thing, suddenly the mood lightens a little. Suddenly those rays hit us and we smile a little more. Maybe a little more bounce in your step. I like the shade. When it’s summer, I’m a vampire for staying out of direct sunlight. I’ll take the long way round if it’s shaded, I’ll cross the street. But it’s there, shining bright. I can see it, feel it, warming me up.

Look, I know that I should be more involved, but I remember when Brexit was everywhere, viscous and corrosive and I couldn’t get it out of my head what a dumb thing it really was. I obsessed to the point that I was out at a nice restaurant having a lovely dinner with my ex-partner and she said to me that I needed to stop talking about it. She didn’t give me an ultimatum, but that was enough to slap me round the face. Stop it. So instead of obsessing now which I could easily do, I’ve decided to enjoy the sunshine. I keep up to date via some well trodden podcasts, but the sunlight is currently pushing it all out of my system, so it’s there within reach but not hollowing me out from the inside.

I’ve made a conscious decision to grasp onto something that will make me happier, when I notice it I smile. It’s a little light in the dark… ugh literally. Sorry that was poor but it works. I’ve realised a lot of my life is stacked with things to distract me. Books, tv, video games, movies, apps on my phone. All these things I tend to do in the gloom. Well I’m having an awning installed on the back of my house so that I can get some shade in the garden and maybe, just maybe sit out a little bit in the sun… well in the shade, but the sun will be involved.