So I’m writing these posts arse about face, because really I should be wanging on about our little trip to Wales this week and then waffling on about The Clicky Clack Demon the week after, but fuck it, this is happening. I’ve never had a pet. My brother had asthma when we were growing up and I was quite scared of dogs as a kid and so generally no pets. And now I’m allergic to cats and dogs. We had about three hundred fish at one point, they were all called Dave. It was much easier to keep track of them that way. But no cats, no dogs, no guinea pigs or other small rodents or large rodents for that matter. I didn’t think I would ever really have a pet or get close to an animal, that thing just wasn’t part of my life and I didn’t feel it needed to be.
This is The Clicky Clack Demon or Belle if you want to know her actual name. This 3kg ball of fluff has grown on me over the last few months. She’s actually a Pomeranian or ‘Very Small Dog’ in my parlance. Look at her, she’s enjoying her blustery day at the Welsh seaside. She’s super cute and a little shit. She barks and growls at other dogs, most other dogs, but not puppies. She won’t even leave guide dogs alone when they’re working. Nope she pops off and lets them know she’s around. She is called The Clicky Clack Demon because the cabin we stayed in over the weekend in Wales had wooden floors and when she was hungry (which is most of the time) and / or bored, you could hear her clicky clacking around, getting restless.
We have come to an understanding, an accord The Demon and I. I provide her with treats and / or food and pick up her shit and she provides me with excitable spin moves and licking of my hands. She’s not a salivary dog so as long as I wash my hands, we’re alright. She loves sofa time. Of a weekend, I’ll be up early, take her out for toilets, provide sustenance and then, and only then do we head for the sofa. She loves a snooze and a lay down on the sofa when you’re watching tv or playing computer games. She’ll chill and only get up if Human Number One is about.
As a pack animal, The Clicky Clack Demon has a leader, Miss Emily Walker, who took some of these photos. She is Human Number One or Belle’s owner. If Emily is around, I may as well not be there. However there are some times when she doesn’t mind sitting with me, as long as she’s getting head scratches. And the thing is, I’m fucking allergic to her. She makes me sneeze, my eyes itch and I found out after holding her for over an hour whilst playing scrabble, she leaves my skin blotchy as well. Antihistamines help alleviate many of these ailments and a nose spray – see me for details if you need any help in that department.
She is proper cute and a sassy little thing and her personality is on show all the time. You can tell when she’s happy and when she’s scared or upset. And all these things are normal. But I never thought I’d care too much. Sure, I thought, I’ll look after her when Emily wasn’t around and make sure she was fed and watered, because that’s the decent thing to do. Now I actually miss the little Demon when I don’t see her during the week. She has grown on me and how could she not, look how bloody cute she is. It also probably helps that I’m quite enamoured with her owner, a little more on that next week.
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