On Arguing With a Bin

Now I think it’s unfair and very disrespectful to reduce Count Binface to just being a bin. He is an ‘independent space warrior,’ leader of the Recyclons from the planet Sigma IX and is over 5,900 years old. This other worldly being should be afforded the respect he is due. And respect he shall get from me. Count Binface turns up when there’s an interesting election to be held and normally pits himself against an interesting character or the sitting Prime Minister when there’s a general election on. He is a beautiful part of our British democracy where anyone is allowed to stand for high office. Recently Count Binface went up against Andy Burnham in the Makerfield by election. When Burnham (who I’m sure will be our new Prime Minister by the middle of July) won, he was photographed between Count Binface and a gent dressed up as a fox. Gotta love this country.

Now onto the person who should be in the bin, Nigel ‘Five Houses’ Farage. The man of the people who went to private school, is a career politician and receives ‘gifts’ of vast sums of money from billionaires, with apparently no strings attached to those Scrooge McDuck levels of money. This bigoted clack wanker is the leader of Reform 2025 Ltd. A political party or a limited company or a group of bigoted clack wankers. Not too sure. This frog faced twat decided to resign as an MP because he’s currently boiling in hot water about his finances and the secrecy around those finances. And then he immediately announced that he will then stand in that by election he caused for his own seat, claiming that instead of the proper processes and committees, the good burghers of the Clacton constituency will be his jurors. And if he won this by election then the people will have decided and be exonerated. It’s great when you can pick your own jury.

Now what froggy face hasn’t realised is that the parliamentary investigations just get paused whilst he’s not a MP and when he gets back in, which he will, they will be reinstated and carried on. When I saw the news, I thought, great, the people of Clacton have the opportunity to rid us of this wart by voting for any of the other main parties, probably the Conservatives. However what has transpired is even more funnier. All of the major parties, plus Restore (who?) have decided they will not play the dickhead’s game and will not stand in the by election. This is a great choice, because now Nigel Farage’s opponents are the independent space warrior, Binface and Laurence Fox (don’t ask.) Intriguingly all of them are Counts…

And so the good burghers of Clacton have the opportunity to do something even funnier… CB for the win! That’s not going to happen, Binface isn’t going to win which is a huge shame. However fuckface Farage wanted to be arguing about how the establishment is trying to nobble him and now all he’ll be doing is shouting into a bin.

I try not to do predictions, but I have a couple now. Farage will have stepped down as an MP before the next general election and he will have stepped down as leader of Reform. This will cause Reform to topple from their top spot leading in the polls and they’ll come nowhere which is where they are now, in the next general election. The Tory MPs who ‘crossed the floor’ to Reform will mostly be voted out and Reform will have no more than 10 MPs. They are currently and will continue to be the skid mark of British democracy.